"Is it true that people eventually come to resemble their palm trees?"
"OH DEAR LORD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"
"No, YOU have holes in the pit of your shirt."
"I’ll do anything for a buck."
"And now, to catch the ball with my extended glove…oh crap. I’m righthanded."
"You do not want to see what Kruk left in these gloves."
"This is the worst baseball I’ve ever tasted."
"Do you know how hard it is to smile for the camera when a gopher’s biting your crown jewels?"