Bad touch baseball is a one-man operation, updated daily. I’m scouring my treasure trove of old baseball cards and posting the players who look skeevy, sketchy, creepy, or just plain goofy. One thing is for sure: if any of these guys showed up at your house to pick up your daughter, you would release the hounds.
“So I said, ‘Rectum?! Damn near killed ‘em!’ “
“I’m gettin’ too old for this shit.”
“Why am I Gumby?”
“Will somebody please get Todd Zeile off of me?”
“Oh crap, I’m still in Miami, aren’t I?”
“No, I’m not THAT R. Kelly. But I am interested in your pee.”
“Man, this is way easier than letting the other guy throw it at me.”